Oh How I Long For The Mission Field....

I am sitting in class and there's so much I'm thinking about right now... This is where my heart is....


The big open field we call the Mission Field.

I'm thinking about all the trips I've been on... I started going on trips when I was 17. It got in my blood and now, I've gone all over the world. I started in Africa. Ghana changed my life. I then spent 2 and half months in Southeast Asia. I went all over Malaysia, Thailand, Burma, Laos, and Singapore. I've been to Mexico several times. The Cayman Islands, Belize, Honduras. My 2nd home Ecuador. Europe. Oh Europe. Sicily and Italy. Brussels. London. All these places.... I can't tell you how precious all these places are. The people I've spent time with. The things I've seen happen. The friends I made and walked away with. God is so good.

So now I'm at a crossroads.
I'm heading to Nicaragua at the end of March.
I can't wait to go. I'm going with new people. People I've never traveled with before. So it's a little bit scary. But really exciting.

Then this summer....
I'm back to Asia. I can't wait to get back there. I just want to serve. I want to be with the children. This is where God became so real to me. This is where the call of God became so heavy and real. I am so excited. Off to Hong Kong. Philippines. Cambodia. Oh Jesus. I am so excited. :-)

There's too much to talk about. I can't begin to tell you what I'm thinking about. I can't begin to tell you everything else...

Favorite moment of this year....

Me and my friend Aaron got to record his song for a TBN spot with Pastor Billy Joe and Sharon! How awesome is that!!??! Man... God is amazing and He continues to blow me away... Just when I thought life was cool... God comes in and makes it 10 times cooler than it is right now...

Come on JESUS!!!!

;-)

::I Wish I were on American Idol::

Wow...

Talk about it being a long time since I've been on here... Life caught up with me... Ha ha! So busy! I have a confession to make...

And it reflects in the title of my entry....

I WISH I WERE ON AMERICAN IDOL....

No joke. First off, here's the thing... I don't follow many TV shows because I don't have time to watch TV, but there's this thing called Tivo... So I've been watching American Idol and my newest favorite is Survivor... Why? I don't know... but anyway...

As I was watching last night I was very disappointed. And my dad just cracks me up. As I was complaining about how the people were terrible and they just couldn't sing it right and blah blah blah.... My dad looked at me and said "Lindsay, You have no room to complain, because you had the chance to go and audition and you're good enough where you could've been on this show. You didn't. So don't complain. Pick someone and cheer them on." 

Wow...

Words like that really shake you. Not in a bad way, but as a way of checking myself. I have no room to be critical of someone else and their gift. I got my heart checked during American Idol! I'm a worship leader at one of the most amazing churches in Tulsa and I'm usually the one who is helping train others and saying "Don't let what someone else says about determine how you will lead. Just keep your head up. Watch your words..." And last night my dad hit it right on the head. I have no room to speak. It wasn't just about American Idol. Those people have no idea who I am, or what I'm saying about them, but it does apply to my life right now. It just caused me to check where my heart was at in everything. 

I have to share with you about one of the coolest experiences I've ever had. Over the last few weeks I've had the incredible opportunity to record with a great friend and to be a part of a taping for a series of short shows for Victory. One of the most incredible things I've done. I got to do something that I love to do. Sing. I've always wanted to do that and I finally had the opportunity and it was incredible. It goes to show that God really does have bigger plans for you than any of the ones you could come up with. 

I know that this was random and all over the place... but its what's on my heart at this moment.... 

Great Expectation....

Oh goodness...

This time a week ago, I was thinking that life was going great. Things were exciting and fun and all that. I'm 22 years old. I'm excited about where my life is at. Do I feel that things are changing? Yes of course. I think there comes a time in your life that it's time to grow up and face the facts... Your life is right in front of you... So.... What are you going to do?!

Last Friday was hard in so many different ways. I realized last week that I am being separated out... You know the feeling when you just feel like you need to hide away and just let God work on you? That's what my life has been like. It's been hard but amazing all at the same time. 

What I've learned in this week is that it is so important to listen to the leading of the Holy Spirit. I know a lot of times people think "that's such a Christianese term"...but I'm serious... I've never felt like my life depends on God more in my life. Here's the thing... I keep coming back to it... If God has spoken a word to you... Stick to it. No matter what. My challenge has been my family. A lot of my family members feel as though I am crazy for not having my life entirely planned out after VBI graduation. For me, I know what God has spoken to me for RIGHT NOW. I would rather hold on to that word than go searching for something else.... or rather, the momentary fulfillment of right now.... I don't want the momentary pleasures of life. I was a LIFETIME of fulfillment with GOD. I've found myself wondering if I have missed God's voice in the midst of my struggles... This is where Proverbs 3:5-6 comes into play: 

"TRUST in the Lord with all your HEART and LEAN NOT on your own understanding... In ALL your ways acknowledge Him and HE WILL DIRECT YOUR PATHS.... "

It would be so easy to just let go of what God spoke to me... It would be so easy to just run away and follow what EVERYONE else is telling me to do and telling me what is RIGHT for my life.... not true. I'm clinging to God more now than ever before and I'm not scared to stand for what I know is the RIGHT THING FOR ME. God is my great expectation.... He's the hope that I have.... He's the ONE THING THAT IS CONSTANT in my life right now... 

As an encouragement to you... Hold on... Hold on tight to what God has told you... Even when it's hard... Keep your vision... That will be what carries you through all the hard times.... 

Worship....

My heart... WORSHIP.... here's how the beginning of my day started:

Today I got a phone call from one of my favorite friends and just knowing she was going to be where I was meant so much to me. As I walked into school today I could hear one of my other close friends leading worship. 

You want to know what moves me as a worship leader? When I see someone that I know laying their heart out on the table to worship God and to take others with him. That is truly beautiful. I'm so moved by that. That's what moves my heart to worship. Worship should never be a chore. If you feel worship is a chore, you obviously haven't had a real heart to heart encounter with your Creator, with your Father. 

Being a worship leader and being able to partake in a worship service when you're not leading is refreshing, especially when you know the leaders up there truly get it. When you see people that TRULY GRASP what worship is about. I didn't feel like I had to stand and jump around. I didn't feel like I had to lay down and weep. I simply sat in the back of the room and worshipped God. I sat back and let God overwhelm me with His beautiful presence.... So beautiful. :-)

Awww... I love stepping back and seeing what God has for His people... 

::Thoughts::

Soooo.....

I've been thinking.... thinking a lot lately about different things. As I look back over the things I've been doing with my life, it is so amazing to see where I was and to see where I am now.... 

I'm 22 years old. I'm a bible school student who is learning so much about the depth and height and width of God that it's astounding. Let's start at the beginning....

This past year... Man... what a ride it has been. Whoever said the "Christian Life is BORING" was seriously WRONG and obviously not following Jesus.... I can't imagine a more EXCITING LIFE than this one! I will say making the decision to follow Jesus and switch schools was one that altered my life DRAMATICALLY. It's one that I am so glad I did. From there I look back and see that no matter the pain, no matter the cost.... THERE'S WORTH AND VALUE in it.... 

Traveling the world is fantastic. Again, whoever said "I don't need to travel... there are OTHER PEOPLE TO DO THAT...." was seriously mistaken. I can't imagine not going and ministering. I can't imagine not wanting to be used to preach and speak and love on people. 

This year at VBI I'm a second year student. As I have sat in classes I've realized more about myself than ever before... My heart has grown.... I never had a heart like Grinch who stole Christmas or anything... You know the story... They said his heart was 3 sizes too small.... But my heart has always been big for others... but not like this. I've already traveled somewhere this year that opened my eyes to the beauty that others might not see in people. I went to Italy with a phenomenal group of women. I connected with so many young girls on our team also. It was unreal. I remember walking around St. Peter's Basilica. I was randomly taking what I call "artistic pictures" and there was this couple that stepped in the shot. As I looked at them I could see everything. It was like I could read where they were... I could feel the longing and sense of BELONGING that they were needing... I just sat back and watched... I couldn't communicate with them because they were German and didn't speak english... but just looking my eyes teared up... I stepped back and looked all around me. I was surrounded by people who were so dead yet so alive. The "false sense of reality" was choking me... My heart was wrenched. My stomach was in knots. I saw such beautiful people wandering around aimlessly.... That was heart breaking. In that moment, I felt God pointing people out to me saying "This. This is what you're called to. You're called to reach those that feel they cannot be reached. That's why you're separated. That's why you're living your life so differently. That's why you're paying such a high cost.... but this is what you're to do... Reach them... Love them.... Help them...." 

Now... After hearing such a word like that is awakening by itself. I was sitting on the steps across from the Vatican and I started to cry. I wanted to ask "Why me? Just a few years ago I was just like these! I was wandering around searching for something...." That still small voice answered me... "Lindsay... What you were searching for, YOU FOUND IN ME..... Why wouldn't I use you???" 

I guess all this is to say no matter where you are, who you were, WHATEVER EXCUSE YOU HAVE.... God can use anyone. God wants to use YOU. I thought long and hard about the ways around it, but really, why wouldn't you want to find the life you were born to live? Why wouldn't you want to discover who God is in you? Why wouldn't you want to live life in the fast lane with God? Why wouldn't you want to SEE THE WORLD and REACH PEOPLE FOR HIM? 

I guess my main question.... WHY???